Co-Creating Change: Effective Dynamic Therapy Techniques by Frederickson Jon

Author:Frederickson, Jon [Frederickson, Jon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Seven Leaves Press
Published: 2013-05-24T00:00:00+00:00

Differentiating the Corners of the Triangle

Once the patient can pay attention to her feelings, anxiety, and defense in the present moment, can she differentiate the stimulus from her feelings, her feelings from anxiety, and her feelings from the defense she uses?

Differentiating the Stimulus from the Feeling

Sometimes the patient cannot differentiate what someone did to her from how she feels toward that person. In response, help her differentiate the stimulus from her reactive feeling so she can become aware of the feeling.

Th: What was the feeling toward him for slapping you?

Pt: I felt hurt. [Patient confuses the stimulus with the feeling the stimulus triggered.]

Th: He hurt you. [Stimulus.] And what is your feeling toward him for hurting you?

Pt: I felt betrayed. [Patient confuses the stimulus with the feeling the stimulus triggered.]

Th: He did betray you. [Stimulus.] What is your feeling toward him for doing that?

Pt: I felt abandoned. [Patient confuses the stimulus with the feeling the stimulus triggered.]

Th: He did abandon you! That’s what he did. [Stimulus.] But the question for us is this: what is your feeling toward him for doing that?

Pt: I’m angry. [Patient can now distinguish the stimulus (what he did to her) from her feeling toward him for doing that.]

Suppose I walked up to you and rubbed some sandpaper harshly on your arm. You would not say you felt “sandpapered.” You would say you felt angry toward me. Differentiate the stimulus from feeling so patients can become aware of their reactive feeling.

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